50 Ways To Write A Blog.

Does simply holding access to a Blogspot or Wordpress make you a blogger? What about that little cunt Tumblr? What exactly constitutes someone as a blogger, and are they held to any real literary or entertainment value expectations? Now, brace yourself for this question: How do you think Jay-Z feels about Soulja Boy? Seemingly unrelated question, but alas, it shall all make come together momentarily. The blog world is eclectic and varied to say the least, and popular ones focus on anything ranging from dope boy shoes to celeb vajayjay sightings to the ever-popular NYC fashion slut diary. The same way Kid Cudi says there are 50 ways to make a record, there are 50 ways to write a blog. Here are some of the most common types of blogs:

1. "Look at this expensive Gucci bag I own, but I don't even care that it's expensive or that it's Gucci" fashion blog.
Posts will usually include pictures of fashionable, impractical yet fun to look at fashion items, and pieces the blogger has picked up and wants to prove he/she owns. This may involve putting on a Versace scarf slightly askew so that the Versace tag shows, or "gracefully" lifting one's leg into the view of the camera to display Giuseppe'd out feet. This type of blog relies heavily on a digital camera's "self-timer" function and legions of adoring fans who both adore and envy the blogger in question, and his/her seemingly fabulous life.

2. Nothin' but bitches and shoes blog.

This blog will usually be a reincarnation of Hypebeast itself, or perhaps Kanye's blog. It will likely feature new sneakers and video vixen ass shots. Shallow attempts at creating debates are also critical to this type of blog -- "Is Trina really the baddest bitch? Or did Nicki Minaj take that title?" Bitches and shoes. Just bitches and shoes. I've seen Vida Guerra's greased down ass enough to last me a while, thanks.

3. Poetic soul, I-keep-Bilal-on-repeat indie earth smooth R&B peacenik blog.
Ain't nothing wrong with this blog. It's kind of cute. This blog is usually more diary-oriented, with thoughtful pleasantries inserted between Floetry lyrics and quotes by Toni Morrison.

4. Copy-and-paste from Media Takeout blog.
This is the maybe the worst kind of blog, because who needs Media Takeout Jr. when there's Media Takeout? Who needs to see the same picture of Rihanna's bloodied face on seven hundred separate blogs, with no original commentary accompanying it? Who needs to see the video for "Yo Side of the Bed" -- again? What can you offer web surfers that VH1 or YBF hasn't already?

This leads me back to Jay-Z and Soulja Boy. In the rap industry, when you've devoted so much of your time and soul into the passion you have for rapping -- when you've crafted your lyrics with such sui generis flair, and when you're so GOOD at what you do a la Jay-Z, how can you be expected to respect "Yuuuuuuule! Soulja Boy Tell Em"? When you run the game, how can you let "Pretty Boy Swag" come even miles within your ear's listening range? How can you not feel disrespected by the immaturity, the talentlessness, the utter greenness of amateurs venturing into your field of expertise? It's a virtue to respect others' hustles, and leave them unknocked, but to what extent? Of course, not everyone takes the same endeavor on with the same level of seriousness and concentration. All bloggers are not writers. All writers are not good. Therefore, it makes it very rare to find a good blogger who exceeds the now commonplace expectation of ADHD web-literature. There is such little emphasis on originality within blogs that repetition is expected and inventiveness is a surprise. And it doesn't matter. They're just blogs.