"I love you" is a phrase with such advanced connotations and societal stigmas. It's fucking weird -- people have no problem saying they love asparagus, or their shih tzu, but when it comes to a relationship, there are suddenly "rules." Can't say it too soon. Gotta wait a couple of months, at least. Don't want to be the first to say it. Want to make sure the other person feels the same way. Try to use it sparingly so that it retains its meaning. Fuck that. What IS the meaning in the first place? When you say you love your new pair of Uggs (since the other pair were leaning quite Pisa-esque), what are you actually saying?
1. I appreciate these Uggs.
2. I enjoy these Uggs.
3. I am very glad I have these Uggs.
So, using this same formula, it would seem I would be able to comfortably say I love my boyfriend. I appreciate him. I enjoy him. And yes, I am very glad I have him. In fact, I enjoy him approximately a kilojoule, a Kelvin degree, and a yardstick more than any woman could ever enjoy Uggs. Or Jimmy Choos. Or Dunks (whatever floats your boat). He certainly floats my boat, but these unspoken rules which govern the usage of "I love you" prohibit me from expressing how I feel. Granted, we've only been official for a very short while, but who imposes time limits on love? What is the waiting period for -- to make sure he's not still fucking his ex? LOL. To be certain you won't find someone else who tickles your fancy a little harder next week? I may not be sure of many things, but I am sure he's the most wonderful thing to happen to me in many, many years. So, what if I jump the fuck out there and just tell him I love his wonderful ass? What would be the result, hypothetically speaking?
1. "Awww. Thank you."
Just trying to be polite. Expressing appreciation for your stupid-in-love gesture/remark, while trying to make you feel the least amount of DUMB possible.
Alternate Responses With Same Meaning: a kiss, a gaze and a smile.
2. "I love...you...too."
An apprehensive, pseudo-fictitious reply to appease you, while not really appeasing shit, because the uncertainty and quiver in his voice definitely are the highlights of his sentence.
Alternate Responses With Same Meaning: Awkward hand rub.
3. *silence*
Silence speaks volumes. It's either "Shut up bitch, no you don't" or "Why the fuck would you say that to me after we've been together for 38 seconds?"
Alternate Responses With Same Meaning: "Good night," "Talk to you later," blank stare.
4. "I love you too."
Feelings reciprocated -- not gonna happen. Because even if I was verbally and emotionally "reckless" enough to spew my love all at him, chances are he'll be at least a little more reserved about jumping the gun in such a way. And that's fine.
It's crazy how three words (that get you a weak amount of points in Scrabble) hold so much weight in relationships. It seems arbitrary, but the fact still remains that it's something couples stick by. It's a staple in our lives, so much so that people aspire to say it to the people that mean a lot to them. God forbid you could ever say something creative, or specially crafted to fit the situation, because when you love someone -- nothing less than "I love you" really cuts it.
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