Don't Be THAT Girl.

I'm thinking about writing a book, something along the lines of Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches, or He's Just Not That Into You, but not as vanilla (no Drew Barrymores or Justin Longs in the movie version). The provisional title for now is Don't Be THAT Girl.

Don't be THAT girl that sends pantie pics from her camera phone to get a guy to like her. If he never texts you back, but suddenly is very interested when you picture message your vagina away, it will likely never be of greater substance. Send pictures if that's what floats your boat, if you're only looking for fun and excitement, if you want to be "naughty" and "daring." But send them under the worst case assumption that he'll think you're a hoe, and show all his friends. If you don't care what he thinks and you only want to entice his weewee, proceed. If you are looking for something of substance and are trying to gain his attention for that purpose, halt.

Don't be THAT girl that goes to dinner with no money to pay for her meal. In Dutch we trust -- although it's nice to eat for free, there's "no such thing as a free meal." A lot of guys think an expensive dinner (anything beyond the realm of Ruby Tuesday) is a down payment on your panties (same ones from the aforementioned picture message). A security deposit, if you will. I'm not saying you should pay, but you should be prepared to pay (your half, not his). Offer to pay, and if he says okay, mentally label him cheap. If he says no, at least you showed that you weren't dependent on his funds.

Don't be THAT girl that lets her "guy" borrow her debit card. Girls are sometimes so eager to please that they'll go against common sense in favor of semi-maternal inclinations. Cue "Sugar Mama" by Beyonce? Letting a guy borrow your debit card lets him know he has the upper hand. He could (not that he WOULD) spend all your fucking money, and what could you do about it? Be mad? Plus, he'll tell all his friends, and they'll all laugh at you behind your debit-card-less back. Last week someone told me, "My babymama gave me $4000 for a shopping spree." Bitch are you stupid (that question is in reference to both the guy and his girl -- am I supposed to be impressed)?

Don't be THAT girl who believes him when he says "It isn't what it looks like." It's always what it looks like. And probably more.

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