Belittling Bruises for "Love's" Sake.

My heart sank today when I heard that Rihanna is currently back together with Chris Brown, post-domestic abuse scandal.

I know it happens every day to countless numbers of women, and Rihanna's shambled love life is no more of my business than is Jane Doe's, but the situation's publicity added a whole new spin to things. Even if she did not elect to be a role model to young girls, her celebrity status makes it unavoidable. It's common for an abused woman to not press charges against their significant other; they don't want to make the issue grow larger and stickier, and they want to protect the person they "love" (despite being at the receiving end of their "loved" one's fist). I was just hoping that the limelight on Rihanna's abuse would force her to leave Chris permanently, even if her heart was still attached, for the sake of the millions of nosy and judgmental (not to mention the persuadable) onlookers of this unfortunate drama. She should have left him in the dust for the sake of the little girls who emulate and adore her, if not for herself. Abuse victims seem to always be looking through rose-colored glasses, like their situation does not echo millions of others'; they seem to believe their scenario is somehow different or unique. I'm not saying problems should be avoided, or that they are incapable of being fixed, but for the most part I am saying that Rihanna is too young to be compromising so deeply. No romance at Rihanna and Chris's age is worth this much trouble. He is the modern day R&B teenage heartthrob. He is lusted after by kazillions of bitches, ages nine to ninety. He can sing, he can dance, he can (somewhat) act (Does 'This Christmas' count? Ha). He, however, is also nineteen. He plays video games and masturbates. He is immature, temperamental, filthy rich, and spoiled - by his fancy cars (if hitting Rihanna really stemmed from her tossing out his Lambhorgini key - wtf), by his legions of female followers willing to suck it for free, by his lavish lifestyle altogether. He can have any girl he wants (sadly, even after this ordeal), but the same is true for Ri-Ri. She can do better. She has to do better.

When I was eighteen, during my first semester in college, I was involved with a severely immature dumbass. An argument turned frantic fight over a phone bill led to me being chokeslammed and crying as strangers gave me a bottle of water to drink at their dining room table while waiting for the police to arrive. The two officers were the first ones to let me know how most abuse victims function - they protect the people who failed to protect them, from physical harm and from the disappointment of crushed fairytale dreams and expectations. I never pressed charges like they urged me to do. I was sitting in his mother's car with him later on that same night, listening to his halfhearted and idiotic attempts at an apology. I was so eager to believe that he had really meant no harm, and that he loved me, and had simply made a grave mistake. We were having sex within an hour, in the driver's seat of the car. It was disgusting. I feel disgusting thinking about it. It is one of my most shameful and regrettable memories, but I want to share in hopes of someone avoiding the same bullshit. I feel like even the strongest women are susceptible to this trap. The smartest women are capable of having purely asinine lapses into "romantically" driven yet inexcusable poor decision making. It's in our human (and especially woman) nature to want to cling to what we define as love. But we don't truly know which way to walk until we aren't in our own shoes.

Is Rihanna following her heart, and advocating the perseverance of "true love," or is she stuck like a fat pig in a goopy mudhole? I vote mudhole.